


Bittersweet Epiphany

by lou2



Category: Bleach
Genre: Angst and Feels, Character Study, Gen, M/M, Possibly Unrequited Love, men being idiots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-05
Updated: 2018-09-05
Packaged: 2019-07-07 04:43:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15901122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lou2/pseuds/lou2
Summary: Being in love is more important than any code of honor.Takes place between chapter 325 page 19 and chapter 326 page 5 when Kira knocks Yumichika out.





	Bittersweet Epiphany

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted to LJ September 2008
> 
> Originally written for Bleach contest with a word limit of 600 and the prompt word - Purgatory
> 
> I have not read the last Bleach arc, so I have no idea if anything ever came of their relationship, but I always wanted them to be happy together.

It wasn’t purgatory; it was the eighth circle of hell where men had to sit and watch their lovers die over and over, ad infinitum. That’s exactly how Yumichika felt when the ground shook, the pillar fell and Ikkaku’s reiatsu dropped below his ability to sense it.

In theory Yumichika understood the Eleventh Divisions’ code of honor to always fight alone and to fight to the bitter end. He even understood Ikkaku’s desire to keep his bankai hidden from everyone but a select trusted few.

He knew that Ikkaku’s repeated refusal to fight under anyone except Captain Kenpachi was why he kept his bankai hidden. However, Yumichika knew more than this. He knew Ikkaku’s chances of promotion to captain were slim at best and virtually nonexistent given the complete lack of desire for the position. For that reason, Yumichika suspected that Ikkaku hid his bankai for much the same reasons he, himself hid the true power of Ruriiro Kujaku. 

Ikkaku worried that he would lose his captain's respect as a brute strength fighter, and maybe, just maybe, he worried that by showing his bankai he would somehow disappoint Captain Zaraki.

Similarly, Yumichika knew he would lose the respect of his division if they saw his true power. Not to mention the looks of horror from Captain Zaraki and Ikkaku, when they realized the ability of his zanpakutou. He would never be forgiven for having such a despicable and ugly power at his disposal. So, Yumichika kept his power hidden to stay by his best friend’s side.

Undeniably though, Yumichika had never felt this helpless or this heart sick. He’d loved Ikkaku his whole life and would have cried ugly tears if Ikkaku had died in his battle with the Arrancar Edorado. However, it took the realization of his undying love for Ikkaku to finally acknowledge how ugly the Eleventh Division’s code of honor truly was. Regardless if the feelings were ever reciprocated, just knowing there was a possibility they could be shared meant the world to Yumichika.

If Ikkaku were to die here today, the opportunity for ultimate happiness and beauty would die with him. Just for that slim possibility, Yumichika would expose himself and Ruriiro Kujaku to save the man he loved. He knew in the grand scheme of things his decision was wrong. He knew leaving his post and defying his orders could cost them this war. Just as he knew Ikkaku’s refusal to use his bankai had probably already cost them dearly. It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered to Yumichika except getting to Ikkaku’s side and hopefully saving his beautiful hide.

It took no more than the blink of an eye for those thoughts to spiral through Yumichika’s mind, and with them came the impetus to break all the rules, damn all the consequences, and risk being hated and thrown out by the division he adored… No, the man he treasured, the man he was determined to save.

However, just as he made his move to acknowledge to the world, his love of Ikkaku and subsequent disdain for the Elevenths’ code of honor, twilight closed over Yumichika’s senses and he spiraled down into an oblivion so close to hell there seemed to be no difference. In his mind, an unending, echoing scream followed him inside the darkness and tortured his unnatural sleep with visions of Ikkaku’s reoccurring death.

**Author's Note:**

> If you happened to read this and liked it, a kudos would be happily appreciated.
> 
> Comments are wonderful, but completely unnecessary.


End file.
